"Everything in it's right place"

It's 4:43 in the morning.
I'm listening to Radiohead.

A place for everything and everything in it's place. I feel like I am always striving to fulfill this, but never can. I am forever working towards getting everything in it's right place. Whether it's my never ending battle with school, not being able to find a job, or my inability to just let things happen, it is always a struggle. I think the one thing I would like most in the world is to just let things happen. My overactive brain is always analyzing, always working out the outcomes in a situation. Before something has even happened, I've already run through all possible scenarios in my head and how I would react to them. (Gift/Curse)

On one hand, it is extremely beneficial. I am prepared for pretty much anything and everything, and can handle myself well because of this. I am not easily caught off guard. On the other hand, it mother fucking sucks. Running through everything in my head over and over again drives me crazy.

I can't turn it off.